Barrister Parvateesam

I am wavering. My obsession with studies, which has gripped me from the very beginning, has not yet shifted towards family life. What does my future hold? Should I bid farewell to my education and embark on the journey of domesticity, or should I continue my studies for a while longer? I found myself caught in this dilemma. My mother, my relatives, and my circle of friends—all of them are urging me to do what everyone else does, and to do it quickly. It has become the popular verdict that my education will not redeem me, nor will it be of any use to me.

In this time of uncertainty, I was filled with both curiosity and anxiety to know what advice the court would give. With her head bowed, leaning slightly towards me, she stood there tracing patterns on the ground with her toe.

Listening to that girl’s words, I felt a surge of affection and pride for her. “Is this innocent girl speaking truly my wife?”—the pride swelled within me like the rising waves of the sea.

“Very well, the court has heard your plea attentively. After careful consideration, the verdict will be delivered tomorrow,” I said, pulling that innocent girl once again into my embrace, kissing her lotus-like face, and sitting there for a long time. Neither of us spoke a word. In that midnight silence, in that utter stillness, it was as if we could not even tell whether we were breathing. Time itself seemed to have forgotten to move, and after a while, Saraswati gently slipped from my embrace, left without a word, and did not look back.

I sat there, afloat on the waves of emotion that surged within me, forgetting myself until dawn. Leaning back, or rather, not even leaning back, I just sat there until some commotion in the house reached my ears and, seeing the light streaming through the window, I realized that it was morning and got up to attend to my daily routines.

I stayed in Bhimavaram for about a week or ten days. Every morning for an hour or so, and again for another hour after dinner at night, I would spend time with my father-in-law. The rest of the time, I would immerse myself in books. In the evenings, I would stroll through the village with Raja. This was my routine.

The plan. For these ten days of the week, my beloved would remain away from me. So, I decided that in another day or two, I would return home. I hadn’t mentioned this to anyone yet. That afternoon, after lunch, as I was sitting leisurely, Saraswati quietly approached me, perched herself on the arm of my chair, placed her hand around my neck, turned my face gently towards her, and said, “The request I made to the court a week ago—they said they would consider it carefully and give a verdict. So far, it seems their deliberation hasn’t concluded. Judging by their pace, it looks like they’ll hoist the flag any day now, without a word of warning. That’s why, if you’d share your opinion, I’d be delighted,” she said, running her fingers through the hair falling on my forehead.

I sat there, surprised at how this girl had already guessed about my impending journey, and for two minutes, I pondered how to broach the subject. She then grabbed my beard, lifted my face, and said,

“Well, sir, have you still not reached a decision? Why such prolonged contemplation? I’ll act according to your wishes. You needn’t have any doubts about that,” she said, pressing her cheek against mine.

“You’re able to read my mind and innermost feelings so easily, aren’t you? Yet, in this matter, you haven’t figured out what I think? Even before you asked, I had made up my mind. When I was about to leave for this town, my mother praised you and gave her opinion. A week ago, your mother too expressed the same view. I gave both of them my answer immediately.”

“What was that? Tell me,” she said, softly wrapping my hand around her waist and drawing a little closer.

“Oh, come now, how would I know all your thoughts? But if you whisper them in my ear, I’ll feel satisfied, as if I’ve heard them from your own lips,” she said.

“All right, then listen. As soon as I returned home from abroad, my father began searching for a bride for me. At that time, Raj—”

Barrister Parvateesam

I had clearly stated that I was not in favor of marrying an uneducated girl, and for that, I had incurred their wrath. But the moment I saw you, I forgot all my opinions and ideals. Not just those—I even forgot myself. There is some magic in your eyes. Your words seem to possess a kind of enchantment. That is why I have become yours. Now, having regained a bit of sense, as my old ideals come back to memory, I have resolved not to approach you until your studies are complete, to keep my distance. I am restraining, with great self-control, the strong desire to make you wholly mine. I have told this very thing to my mother and to your mother as well. I believe that our fathers too will abide by this decision. So, you need not be afraid of anything. Study at ease, with peace of mind. Forget everything except your studies. In the list of things to be forgotten, do not include me at all, my girl," I said, looking into her eyes.

To my surprise, a veil of tears appeared in that girl's eyes. Hearing my words, for the first time, I gained self-awareness.

After dinner that night, as usual, I sat in the office room for a few minutes, and after the usual small talk was over, without launching into the usual court gossip, my father-in-law, with some hesitation, broached the same subject with his daughter. I was surprised. Had the