There is little chance to rise to the top and shine in the lower courts. Here, if you practice in the High Court itself, you’ll gain the acquaintance of eminent people and as much experience as you need. When you take up appeals that come here from the lower courts, you’ll have the opportunity to display your intelligence and wit, to show your sharpness of mind. You can think over your convenience and circumstances and make your decision. If you decide to stay here, you may, if you wish, join me as an apprentice. Later, after careful thought, you can make your own choice,” he said.

After another ten minutes of this and that, he dismissed me.

I returned to my lodgings in great delight and met my friends, to whom I recounted all that had happened. They too were very pleased and said, “Whatever it is, you should begin your practice right here. If someone like Prakashamgaru himself says he’ll take you as an apprentice, what more could you possibly want? Don’t even think of anything else. Living in Madras is inevitable for you. Whenever you need a bit of moral support or a cheer, we’ll come visit you from time to time—so you have nothing to fear.” Thus, both my friends unanimously gave me their assurance.

Since my business was done, I packed up my things and decided to take the night mail train for my return journey.

After I came back from Madras, time began to crawl again. Nothing came to mind, nothing passed the time. If I tried to talk for a while with anyone in the village, they would immediately say, “Tell us some stories about London,” and then bombard me with all sorts of ridiculous questions: “Do they have weddings there, sir?” “Do children and all get born normally over there?” “How do they know English as soon as they’re born?” “Did you come back without marrying anyone there?”—and so on, asking all sorts of silly questions, trying to trip me up and get me to reveal some secret or other, as if I were hiding some great mysteries from the world.

Their intention was that I must be hiding some secrets, and that, by asking clever questions, they would somehow coax them out of me. They would ask me all sorts of questions. Observing their attitude, the way they posed their queries, their restraint and skill, I realized that even if these people had no formal education or intelligence, they had thoroughly mastered the art of carrying their own burdens—and others’—on their shoulders, spending all three hundred and sixty-five days of the year circling around the houses of pleaders. This eloquence, this knack for asking any question necessary to get the answer they wanted—they had learned these things well. I resolved never to go anywhere unnecessarily, nor to indulge in idle gossip with anyone.

When I returned from Madras, I bought many kinds of books—some new, some old. Among them, I managed to find, though somewhat battered, the invaluable work by Savarkar, *The Indian War of Independence*. I also acquired books about Annie Besant’s Home Rule movement, as well as works by Indian luminaries such as Gokhale, Malaviya, Lajpat Rai, and Naoroji. In addition, I purchased a variety of literary and cultural books. With all these spread out before me, I began to read with the same dedication as I had when preparing for my M.A. exams, burning the midnight oil. The more I read, the more inspired and enlightened I became, and the greater my thirst to read further grew. Thus, several months passed.

But how long can one keep reading books that have no immediate practical use? So, once again, I was plagued by doubts—what should I do, where should I stay? These dilemmas began to stir within me. Meanwhile, without my knowledge, my mother had written a letter through my uncle, asking that my wife be sent here to stay with me for ten days. And so, one morning at dawn, she appeared before me quite suddenly. I was so startled that I stood frozen, wondering how the moon could rise at sunrise. As I gazed at her, dumbstruck, a sweet voice gently asked if I was still not awake. By then, I had fully regained my senses and was about to display my newly acquired alertness, but, sensing my intentions, the girl quickly ran off to my mother. The enthusiasm that welled up within me—

Barrister Parvateesam

Half of it cooled down.

After a few days, time once again gathered speed and began to race ahead. Ten or fifteen days slipped by as swiftly as fifteen minutes. Many times, I wondered how it would be if I wrote down my words and actions in order. With that intention, I would take up paper and pen, but all that came to mind were scattered, blossoming salutations, unopened rosebuds, unreachable depths, the blue lotuses that reveal themselves, the parrot’s chatter, the cuckoo’s song, and suchlike. I saw and heard many things, but none of them came clearly to mind to write or speak about. So, giving up in frustration, I would toss aside the paper and pen and slip back into my own waking dreams. As soon as those fifteen days were over, the person who had stirred up all those dreams and hopes vanished without a trace.

One day, at sunrise, only darkness remained.

For another fifteen days, with nothing else to do, I spent my time wandering along the banks of canals, tanks, and fields. By then, my mind had settled, and though my parents were not entirely pleased, I decided to set out for Madras. There, I arranged for lodging in a house at Mylapore, and resolved to begin my pleader’s profession on an auspicious day.

I say I made a firm resolution, but is everything else so easy and swift? As soon as I entered Madras, I went to see the renowned Narayana Murthy garu and explained