Chapter 3
Handsome and Theodore
7 min read · 6 pages
There was once a frog-king in a well, and his name was Theodore. One day when tormented by his relatives, he climbed from bucket to bucket up the water-wheel, and finally emerged. Then he thought: “How can I pay those relatives back? For the proverb says:
While one brings comfort in distress,
Another jeers at pain;
By paying both as they deserve,
A man is born again.”
With this in mind, he saw a black snake named Handsome crawling out of his hole. And on seeing him, he thought once more: “I will invite that black snake into the well, and clean out all my relatives. For the saying goes:
A sliver draws a sliver out;
Just so the wise employ
Grim foes to slaughter foes; and thus
Turn danger into joy.”
Having come to this conclusion, he went to the mouth of the hole and called: “Come out! Come out, Handsome! Come out!” But when the snake heard this, he thought: “Whoever he may be that is calling me, he does not belong to my race. That is no snake’s voice. And I have no alliance with anyone else in the living world. So I will just stay here until I am sure who he may be. For the proverb says:
Until you have full information
Of prowess, character, and station,
To no man let your trust be given—
Such is the current saw in heaven.
Perhaps it is some conjurer or druggist who is calling me in order to put me in a cage. Or a man who bears a grudge and summons me in the interest of his friend.”
So he said: “Who are you?” The other said: “I am a frog-king named Theodore, and I have come to make friends with you.”
When the snake heard this, he said: “Why, it is incredible. Does grass make friends with fire? You know the proverb:
You do not, even in a dream,
Approach the kind of foe
Who kills at sight. What can you mean?
Why should you babble so?”
But Theodore said: “You are quite right, sir. You are my born enemy. And yet I come to you because I have been insulted. You know well:
When all your property is gone
And life itself at stake —
To save that life and property
You grovel to a snake.”
The snake said: “Well, who insulted you?” And the frog answered: “My relatives.” “But where is your home?” asked the snake. “In a pond? or a well? or a cistern? or a tank?” “My home is in a well,” said the frog. “But,” said the snake, “I can’t get in. And if I could, there is no place for me to lie while killing your relatives. Begone. Besides, you know
Eat only what will swallow
And gratify the hollow
Within with good digestion —
Put not your health in question.
But Theodore replied: “No, sir. Come with me. I will show you an easy way into the well. And inside there is a very attractive hole at water-level. There you can lie, and you will find it child’s play to finish my relatives.”
Then the snake reflected: “Yes, I am old. Now and then, with great effort, I catch one mouse. And often I don’t. Yes, yes, the proverb is right:
When strength is ebbing, dying,
When friends are gone, and wife,
The prudent should be trying
A carpet-slippery life.”
After these reflections, he said: “Well, Theodore, if you really mean it, lead the way. We will go together.” “Friend Handsome,” said Theodore, “I will take you there by an easy way and show you the resting-place. But you must spare my family. You must not eat any except those I point out.”
“My dear fellow,” said the snake, “you and I are now friends. Have no fear. I will do nothing but what you wish.”
Then he came out of his hole, hugged the frog, and started off with him. So they came to the edge of the well, and the snake went in with the frog by way of the buckets on the water-wheel. Then Theodore settled the black snake in the hole and showed him the relatives. And he ate them all one after another. And lacking relatives, he made up to a few of the friends, and ate them, too, with much circumspection.
Then the snake said: “My dear fellow, I have disposed of your enemies. Please give me something to eat, for you brought me here.”
“But, my dear fellow,” said Theodore, “you have done what a friend should do. Pray return by way of the buckets.”
“Friend Theodore,” said Handsome, “you make a serious mistake. How can I go home? My hole was my fortress, and it is surely occupied by strangers. Here I stay, and you must give me a frog at a time, even from your own family. If not, I will eat every one.”
At this, Theodore was disturbed in spirit, and reflected: “Oh, what was I about when I brought him here? And if I deny him now, he will eat every one. Yes, the proverb is right:
Whoever fraternizes with
Too vigorous a foe,
Is eating poison, and will soon
Perceive it to be so.
“So I will give him one a day, even if it must be a friend. For they say:
Calm with a prudent, petty bribe
A foe who may desire
To seize your all. So calms the sea
Its fierce subaqueous fire.
And again:
‘Tis wise, when all is threatened,
To give a half, and guard
The other half to win one’s ends;
For total loss is hard
And yet again:
No prudent soul would lose
Much good for little use;
Prudence implies much gain
Acquired with little pain.”
So he made up his mind, and assigned a frog a day. And the snake ate this one and another, too, behind the frog-king’s back. Ah, it is too true:
As muddied garments dirty
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